Thursday, September 26, 2013

All You Need Is Love

#truelove #allowing #dating GPS for the Soul - The Huffington Post All You Need Is Love I am coming out of summer hibernation like a grizzly bear on the hunt for food. I open my laptop for soul survival We are not born with an instruction manuals, how to's or directions. We are born chasing answers, looking for pieces to the puzzle. All of us are painting, writing, sculpting our own masterpiece but collectively a part of a big mosaic. I was recently chatting with new found friends and artists Markus and Leslie of Antidote about their recent team-building event they did for Swarovski. It was a painting experience for each member of the company, painting a personalized canvas unleashing their inner Bob Ross. Once completed, the Swarovski team hung their pictures to then only see that their picture was a part of a bigger picture. Bringing a realization that although each member has a job, without the other employees the picture would be incomplete; as in life. We all are interwoven into the fabric of each other's lives. Like cotton, we absorb, can be stained, worn and ripped. We move about through the motions of each day many times without notice of how our actions and sometimes non-reaction has a cause and effect. We navigate through life blindly trying to pick up pieces along the way, trying to make sense and find purpose, in order to move forward in "the know." It may sound like sun shiny shiitake mushrooms at the end of a rainbow, but even once purpose is found, there is always a greater purpose unfolding. The picture never truly clear until our last leaf has fallen. We are born to always be growing, learning, unveiling answers. Not just for ourselves but for others.

I am clumsily stumbling for answers for: How to process tragedy and loss, heartbreak, ache and loss?

I clench my heart trying to grasp sense, the message and the purpose, for life's most recent chapter. I know that, like Markus and Leslie's mosaic, the picture may not be clear for some time (hopefully). As a parent, family and friend I have no words to alleviate an ounce of pain over the death of a child. I can only offer arms to hold, ears to listen and tears, so they do not have to cry alone. I silently remind myself of those that have gone before, that wounds heal and that one day grief will turn to beautiful memories dancing in our heart's mind.

Although Joe's story has ended too soon, ours continues on. With each end of a chapter the story will start to come together. There are too many twists and turns in life to even try to understand the why's of such tragedy. Faith will be tested but our spirit is strong! The sadness is a heavy blanket that is suffocating. Salt stings, but heals all wounds -- so let tears fall.

We can choose to let heartache paralyze us from living or we can choose to let our lives be a beautiful reflection of those shining brightly in the distance. People will forever be moving in and out of our story. Love and be loved, dance and drink wine, engage in interesting conversation and be genuine! Let people touch your soul and leave footprints on your heart, for life is fleeting. A beautiful mind once told me to embrace circumstance, chance, and maybe even fate! Relish in the beauty of your heart taking shape. Cry, laugh and scream -- emotion in its truest form.

Joe, Joe will forever be in my heart. His life, his heart, is what began my own personal journey towards a "let it be" kind of life! I will cherish the raw, innocent emotion of him missing singing the celebration of life to his cousin Molly and how the do-over was sung just as passionately as the original. And all of the kids playing, smiling and just existing, in the carefree beauty of childhood. Now I silently sing Happy Birthday to you Joe, as it is your birthday in heaven. As you blow out your candles I imagine your wish being for happy hearts for us left without you.

I know your scarred heart was gifted to us as the masterpiece sculpted by the footprints of angels and that your final mosaic is majestically hung for us all to view someday. Thank you for gracing us in this life. Run free in heaven with your heart pumping strong and please give John Lennon a hug for me from his second-biggest Beatles fan. Rest peacefully Joe, Joe!

Love is the answer, Love is the puzzle piece. Be lovethat is all you need!

"Nothing you can know that isn't known.

Nothing you can see that isn't shown.

Nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

All you need is love, love. Love is all you need!" -- The Beatles What Does a Coach Have That You Don't Have? Why has there been such a dramatic growth in the number of life coaches for individuals and executive coaches for business managers and executives?

I think we can agree that people who hire a coach are looking to improve their state of affairs. In other words, they want to change their behavior or change their circumstances. People hiring life coaches want help in achieving their life goals, improving their relationships, dealing with others more effectively, making more money, etc. Businesspeople hiring executive coaches either want to overcome some problem behavior, such as not taking action due to a fear of making mistakes or the inability to delegate, or to improve their ability to do something, such as build and manage a team.

The real question is, what makes a coach better able to do this than the person being coached? Why can't you do this on your own?

Most coaches probably aren't smarter than you. If there is anything they know that you don't know you could probably find it on the web. They can remind you to keep your commitments but a friend could do that too for far less money. So the question still remains: Why are so many people hiring and getting real value from coaches?


I suggest that the real value of a good coach is her mindset or worldview. A coach can look at a situation and literally see possibilities that the client cannot see. And what enables the coach to do that? Her beliefs about the world are different from the client's beliefs.

As I pointed out in my recent blog post about Steve Jobs and the following week's post on how our assumptions about the world severely limit our possibilities, not everyone sees the same world. And coaches usually don't see the same world we see.

Each of us might deal with the same physical world, but each of us interacts daily with a world of our own making, a world that is a function of our beliefs. Some people deal with a world in which they are powerless, in which people can't be trusted, in which they will never get what they want, in which life is difficult, and in which "obstacles" keep you from getting what you want. This is not airy-fairy stuff. This is real. In some people's reality, this is the way the world really is, so all your choices and possibilities are affected by "your" world.

Other people deal with a world in which they experience the power to make things happen, in which people can be trusted and in which people are supportive, in which people can and do get what they want, in which life is open and friendly, and in which "obstacles" are only challenges to be overcome. For such people, this also is very real. This is the way they experience the world and that experience determines their choices.


Take a moment and make this real. We are not merely taking about people having different beliefs. We are taking about different people inhabiting very different worlds.

And in some worldviews there are many more possibilities than in others. And if a coach inhabits a world with far more possibilities and far fewer barriers, that coach will be able to point out those possibilities that you couldn't possibly see.

The problem is that the possibilities the coach can see are impossible in your world. So ultimately the most important thing coach can do is not merely point out opportunities you can't see because of your different worldview, but help you change your own worldview.

And because your worldview is a function of your beliefs, changing your worldview requires eliminating your limiting beliefs. When you do that, possibilities that literally didn't exist for you suddenly because available.

And I'm not just talking about self-esteem type beliefs, I'm talking about beliefs that consist of assumptions about what can and can't be done in the world. If you believe, as to make all the gorilla glass Steve Jobs wanted, you would turn down a very profitable order for your company. If you believe, as Steve Jobs did, that the glass could be built in six months despite the fact that none of the plants were currently making the glass, then you will find a way to convince the supplier that the glass could be delivered even when the supplier insisted it could not.


I'm pretty good about questioning my assumptions, and yet the other day several of them were hindering my ability to turn one of our webinars into a digital product. I had several assumptions that I had never thought to question:

* People in the course needed to experience "no meaning" many times in order to be able to dissolve meaning on a regular basis.

* The only way people could get that experience was from eliminating a lot of beliefs.

* The only way for people to easily eliminate enough beliefs was to complete the Natural Confidence (NC) program.

* Fewer people would get the new digital program if they were required to buy the NC program first.

In a discussion with Rodney, one of my associates, he got me to question all of these assumptions. As a result, a huge roadblock to making this new course available just disappeared when I became aware of my assumptions and eliminated them.

All of us have hundreds of assumptions that define our worldview and determine what we think is even possible. It would never occur to you to question those assumptions because they are "the truth" for you. The real value of a coach is having someone make you question some of those assumptions. If you're at all interested in using a coach, make sure he/she has the ability to help you change your worldview.

Thanks for reading my blog. Please post your questions or comments about how our worldview determines what is possible for us and how a good coach can help us question our worldview. Your comments will add value for thousands of readers. I read them all and respond to as many as I can.

Morty Lefkoe is the creator of The Lefkoe Method, a series of processes that improve the quality of people's lives. One revolutionary process, the Lefkoe Belief Process, permanently eliminates limiting beliefs. To actually try that process, go to This Smartphone Game Will Force You To Unplug At The Dinner Table (VIDEO) Are you guilty of texting, tweeting or sending emails at the dinner table? Many of us are -- but with a new unplugging game, your poor tech etiquette could leave you to pay the bill.

is a game that makes everyone in the dinner party accountable to unplugging during their meal. Each participant puts his or her cell phone in the middle of the table, and whoever checks the device before the bill arrives gets stuck with the bill.

New York Times contributor Caroline Tell discussed the game during a HuffPost Live segment on Tuesday, telling host Caitlyn Becker that "whoever has to sneak a peak, has to pick up the tab."


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