As most of you know, I moved to Nashville two months ago. What you might NOT know - unless you follow Urban Yoga Den on Facebook - is that, indeed, the last eight weeks have been the toughest challenge of my life so far. Darkness oh yes, darkness. And that ever-present tug back into the light - or more appropriately, the ever-present tug OF the light that always complements that darkness.
I haven't had time to write a proper blog since the move. As I hinted, I've primarily been writing shorter Facebook posts (check them out, if you wish!). Because tomorrow night marks the Lakshmi Puja for Diwali - one of my favorite holidays - I've pasted past Diwali posts below. A little visit to the Urban Yoga Den archive. I hope you enjoy this. OM Shanti.NOVEMBER 15, 2012 - DIWALI CLASS FEATURED IN HUFFINGTON POST!I am honored (floored, really) to be featured in this Huffington Post blog () - "Diwali Yoga in Columbia Heights," by religion journalist Dawn Cherie Araujo - about our special yoga class last night.
As my friend Sachin notes in the article, the practice was mind blowing.I will not take credit for that outcome, however - it's the result of the yoga itself, and a roomful of very strong intentions.Heartfelt thanks to our students, from our wonderful little 8-year-old guest to the rest of the yoga veterans in the class.
Yoga is such a gift.Love love loveOM Shanti.NOVEMBER 13, 2012 - DIWALI'S BALANCE OF DARKNESS WITH LIGHT
"What is important for a movie?Both - light to make it; darkness to show it.The minute you learn to respect and see both sides of the coin as equally good, you can enjoy both.It is only a matter of understanding and acceptance.Let us have that light of understanding.Accept things as they are.Then, life is worth living.The world becomes a heaven on earth for you."
- Swami Satchidananda
In less than one hour, I'll teach my annual Diwali-themed yoga class.This Indian holiday is commonly known as the "Festival of Lights," signifying the triumph of light over darkness.Ancient history tells of a number of battles across the nation ending, with great victories over evil forces.To welcome home the heroic warriors on the dark eve of a New Moon, villagers lit their paths with glowing oil lamps.
Hence the ongoing tradition of celebrating this particular New Moon with lamps, fireworks and other uplifting festivities.
For me, Diwali reminds me of the necessity of both darkness and light.
I used to be very, very scared of the "dark."The moment a hint of sadness or lowness or depression showed up, I was in action - figuratively lighting my oil lamps to brighten things up.These days, I have found a strength in welcoming times of darkness, struggle, challenge.Not that I like to dwell there for long - I can appreciate a rough patch and at the same time know that I must do some reflection and practice to shed light on its lesson.
So there is a balance.Darkness and light must exist.
As for battles - I will admit that sometime my greatest battle is with myself.Although I have come to be at peace during most of my dark times, there are still situations where my fears can get the best of me.They can lead me into poor choices, rash decisions, intense self-protection.But less and less.Thankfully.
So today, my greatest victory is not when I "win a battle," but when I surrender my fears and allow the battle to dissolve.
What are your battles?Which have you "won?"Celebrate them tonight!And which have you surrendered from?Celebrate them, too.Recognize your victories.If you are currently in a dark time, have hope for the triumph of light.
'Tis the season of shortening days.Autumn calls us to enjoy the comfort of candles, fires, warmth.To cultivate our own light.This very natural, womb-like, growing darkness can be an invitation to experience a balance of darkness with light, of light with darkness.Enjoy.
OM Shanti.OCTOBER 20, 2009 - WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE
"You need good light to make a movie, is it not so?And then you need good darkness in which to show it.Isn't that funny?"- Swami Satchidananda, founder of Integral Yoga
I have a confession:I'm scared of the dark.
Well, not "the dark," as in a dark room, or a dark forest or dark places like that.I'm afraid of the dark-ness within me.That's right, folks.This Diwali-celebrating, Jewish-new-year-observing, eight-limbs-of-yoga-loving gal gets sucked into the tunnels of doubt, despair and even depression at times.
Another confession: I think sometimes I try too hard to "dissolve" that darkness.
Heaven forbid I head back to that bottom mentioned in my 9/24 "Welcome to the Urban Yoga Den" entry.Even now, nearly 20 years later, when darkness taps at my door, I feel terrified.My solution?Do something.Quick.Light candles, exhale and let go, practice more rituals.Do, do, do.
Y'know all this new moon/Autumn/Diwali activity that I've been writing about and practicing lately?Is it healthy and positive, or is it my way of escaping the discomfort of life's dark moments?The fact is - life hurts sometimes.The question is - should I run away by engaging in non-stop activity; or should I take a deep breath, stick around and see what happens?
I saw Where the Wild Things Are last night.When I first saw the trailer back in July, I sobbed.That kid's pain leaped off the screen and into my chest.And when he leaped into his fantasy world wow without getting into the details of my childhood, let's just say I related big-time.And that was only the trailer!
In the original Where the Wild Things Are storybook, it take Max 12 pages to travel from his bedroom forest to the wild things' island.His journey in that little sailboat lasts "through night and day and in and out of weeks and almost over a year."All of that time and effort to leave the past, the pain, the ickiness behind!And in the end, where does he end up?Where the wild things are - an island of monsters.
Seems familiar to me.Hmmm.
How gratifying to finally see the film after so much anticipation.Spike Jonze hit the nail on the head.I'm getting choked up simply recalling how vividly he portrays a child's reactions to confusion, betrayal, neglect and alienation.How a child creates a fantasy world in order to cope.How that child learns that, even in his imaginary kingdom, there is confusion, betrayal, neglect and alienation.
I'm that child.I mean right now.I'm that kid.It's taken a while, but I'm learning that even with the warm glow of Diwali's lights, even with the sacred space of yoga, even with the refuge of doing, doing, doing - life happens.
Monsters will always show up - on far-off islands, at home, in loved ones and within my own self.Where humans are involved, there will be pain.There will also be joy.Where reality exists, there will be darkness.And there will also be light.
So there's nothing to be scared of after all.
"What is important for a movie?Both - light to make it; darkness to show it.The minute you learn to respect and see both sides of the coin as equally good, you can enjoy both.It is only a matter of understanding and acceptance.Let us have that light of understanding.Accept things as they are.Then, life is worth living.The world becomes a heaven on earth for you."- Swami SatchidanandaOCTOBER 15, 2009 - DIWALI INTENTIONS
Sometimes I feel very emotional after teaching a particularly energized Integral Yoga class.Tonight was one of those times.
For the months of September and October, our classes have focused on Pranayama (see Tips-n-Tools for more on our bi-monthly focus), or breathing practices.Complemented by this week's waning moon and the coming of Fall, our exhales have come to mean more than a mere letting go of air.Indeed, they've become symbols of transformation.
So at tonight's IY class at Past Tense Studio, under a rainy sky and just four days before the new moon, we imagined our battles, troubles and trials in the palms of our hands.Holding our palms together at heart-center, we honored this darkness, and perhaps grew to understand it.
Next, after inhaling our fingertips toward the sky, we exhaled and allowed our arms to open wide, releasing our darkness.With each exhale we began to dissolve what no longer serves.
The intention in the room felt so deeply human, even vulnerable.How could one not be moved?
Today marks the opening of the Indian holy days called Diwali - from the crescent to the new moon, as that pie-in-the-sky whittles away to nothing, Hindus, Sikhs and others celebrate the proverbial triumph of good over evil within individuals.During this Festival of Lights, as the night sky darkens to moonless, the golden glow of oil lamps fills streets and homes.
Indian folkloric tales share the journeys of historical characters returning from exile, imprisonment and battles to be welcomed by candlelit temples and rows of oil lamps.
And here in the Mid-Atlantic, as the moon disappears and the change of seasons falls upon us, we exhale in yoga class and let go, let go, let go - making room for more light within.
In Autumn, nature begins its own process of letting go.Green grass turns dry brown, leaves turn brilliant colors then drop to the ground, blue skies surrender to misty grey and the sun sinks lower each day.Things appear to be dying in the fall.At the same time, gardeners plant bulbs that nestle in the ground to be nurtured by fall's fertilizers.
'Tis the season to say goodbye to the old, to let it die off and sink away.So plant your bulbs and let them rest while you live each changing moment of autumn.Light a candle, wish your darkness farewell, then let yourself glow.
I am setting a Diwali intention.Between today and the new moon of Sunday, October 18th, as that sliver of a moon disappears, I invite you to join me in envisioning your darkness between the palms of your hands - embrace it, honor it, understand it.Lift your fingertips to the sky, and exhale to let go, let go, let go.
May the light of truth overcome all the darkness.OM Shanti.
(P.S.Gratitude to Liz Workman of Nashville's Belmont Lotus, and many others who believe that our obstacles can be teachers, for the inspiration.)