Wednesday, January 1, 2014

My Life in Years


Born at home, in true parents-met-on-a-commune style.


I would sit in the garden by the basket of blueberries and take two handfuls, assess which was better, eat that one, and then put the other back. I was a precocious statistician.


Baby brother was born. Played on swingsets.


Began my studies at the Waldorf school.


None of my dolls had faces, used watercolors instead of fingerpaint, made bread. #waldorfschool


1st grade, not much different than kindergarten. Still really into swings. First love kisses on the monkeybars.


One year sabbatical in Chile. Learn to swim in hot springs in the Andes. Take Kung Fu lessons. Make raspberry tea from rainwater, insist that drinking it will make anyone happy.


2nd grade, wherein I emotionally torture my german teacher and lead a walkout on a substitute teacher. I learn to crochet but the handwork teacher does not think that I am mature enough for this fourth grade level fiber art and encourages me to unlearn it. My parents decide that the Corvallis Waldorf School has taught me enough.


3rd grade: public school. I finally learn to read, write, multiply, divide, add, subtract.


4th grade: Playgrounds and bookreports. I spend recess playing with a skip-it and imagining elaborate tales about anthropomorphizing horses.


5th Grade, where I somehow have friends and we invent "Sylvania" in the corner of the playground where we collect sticks and wage war on various competing lands created by my friends when they get sick of me being dictator-for-life.


6th grade. Still playing Sylvania, but this time with maps and yelling instead of sticks and running. I convince my opponent's second in command to betray him, at which point my opponent attacks me with a hula hoop during gym class andthat was pretty much the end of it. I also write a 20 page Star Trek Fan Fiction, totally cannon.


Sabatical part deux, one year in Vufflens le Chateau, Switzerland, where I go through all of the turmoil of being 12 but in a prettier location. I also learn French, and find out that I am good at math.


8th grade, reverse culture shock because everyone grew up so much while I was gone.


9th grade. I play Miranda in the Tempest and I am Miranda in real life.


10th grade. I continue to do a lot of theatre, oblivious to the fact that the new professor is an emotionally abusive 40 year old adolescent who was in the marines for too long.


11th grade. I realize that the theatre professor is emotionally abusive. Act and direct one act plays with my friends, put on aseries of science lectures by professors from OSU because I worry that science classes don't actually teach science.


12th grade, I have made full metamorphosis into raging bad ass, emergence from cocoon is successful.Kick ass and take names all year. Frequent 5 am drives to donut shop. Significant drama in friend group.


Travel around Europe by myself for the summer, get to Reed and have a brilliant freshman year.


Spend the summer in Madrid studying MOSFETs and spending most of my free time in the Thyssen, Reina Sofia, and Prado.Sophomore year is still fun but so much more work.


Summer in France studying mathematical models of biofilms. Read for 16hrs a day. Leave house only to see boyfriend, walk 1.5x normal speed to try to avoid street harassment. Junior year at Reed is total shitshow of physics.


Have more fun. More shitshow of physics.


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