Tuesday, January 21, 2014

"Peace in this life and eternal salvation in the life to come"

I am a human terrified of change. Petrified. So this semesternew city, new apartment, new program, new roommates, new roads, new curling iron, new people, places & thingsyou can imagine my anxiety. And if you can not, I will describe it in six words: I gave myself stress-induced stomach ulcers. Okay, maybe that's seven. Do hyphenated words count as two or one? Regardless, life came at me so quick I just threw it all up. Literally (accented British-ly).

But can I say something crazy? (Unintentional, yet completely subconsciously perfect Frozen reference ) One day, I just wasn't scared anymore. Because for the first time in forever (yes, Frozen again.), I was not making decisions on my own. & Never in my life have I felt more unreasoned and unquestioned comfort. Like things were just right. I knew that where I was headedwas exactly where I needed to be. And while making these curiously life-shattering decisionswhen everything I knew was cocooning into a shriveled pine-coneI was okay. I was at peace. I washappy! I am SO SO SO HAPPY! So although both my mother & I DTR my decisions to deathI absolutely know that my Savior has directed me to this happiness. He knows where I've been, who I've become, and what I need.

And so when my perfect little planned life stubbed it's toe on a metal garden linerIt only means that my Heavenly Father has something better for me. And I'll tell you whatI've got a pretty stinking good plan laid out for myself in my head. So if His is betterI say bring it on. I'm ready. I dare you to make my life better than I can even imagine. Bring it absolutely on.

And now look at me. Only three weeks into the semesteralready knowing this will be the best one yet. See, Jennaall this change has actually made you the happiest you've ever been. Didn't see that one coming, did you?

So here I goI'm doing it. And I don't care

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