Monday, July 22, 2013

The Actual Resolve

Currently I'm a little frustrated, and that means that I'm probably going to regret this post sometime in the near future. Maybe it's immature of me to even respond, let alone like this, but this is the last of things I have to say on the matter and will never speak of it again so I guess that's a positive. I just feel like that, among the many similarities we have, there are so many things we disagree on.



Alright, so the point of this is not necessarily to refute every single point you made in your recent post. However that is how I'm going to make my point. Starting with the gender roles bit.




You said that "The only things we're forced into covering is our natural body parts". Well, our entire body is natural, so every body part is a "natural body part". That phrasing just seems odd to me. I understand that female's breasts are a much more sexualized object than male's, but that's just how it's been for centuries. The fact that that's just how it is, is not awful. It's not like men just made a rule that women need to cover their chests and be ashamed. It's not oppression, it's just history. And no, it is not illegal for you to walk around in public topless. Many women do because they feel the same way. Honestly, I'm all for equality, but just because tradition states that you cover something up, doesn't mean that it is an abomination that you should be ashamed of. I just don't understand that. Men have body parts to cover up too, but that doesn't mean that we're ashamed of them. The use of them has nothing to do with it. The fact that people don't cover up their legs is not an inconsistency, it's just because legs are not as sexualized generally. No one's pointing fingers and no one's over-sexualizing, and no one is treating you like you've done something wrong because:



1.) You are not forced to cover your chest, regardless of your gender.



2.) Even if you were, does that mean you're ashamed of it? No. No it doesn't. I wear pants because I don't like showing off those parts of me. That doesn't mean I'm ashamed of them. And like women's breasts, the parts men have to cover up have a natural use too.



The fact that your Mom told you to "sit ladylike" is not her catering to the oppression standard of women. It's her being a parent. If I were a parent I would like have my son or daughter sitting properly and in a sophisticated manner. The fact that their body hasn't matured yet has nothing to do with it. It's just not a good habit to be "running around" exposing themselves because, as a parent, I wouldn't want my child growing up thinking that's okay, because it's not. I agree that it is a little sad that it isn't okay, because those body parts are only natural, but that can't be helped now. And it's not like that little rule in society favours men in any way because, as I said, men have parts to cover too. If she makes you dress the way you look most feminine as opposed to you just being comfortable is also not her buying into the social standard. It's just something mothers do to their children when they're little. Does she do that to you now? No. Does the fact that she did that to you as an infant make her a terrible person? No.



And to counter the sexual assault thing; rape is a difficult crime to prosecute because it's usually one person's word against another. But the idea that in a court room jury, people just sit around thinking "yeah, she was dressed kinda slutty, she probably deserved it. Guilty". Well, it's just absurd because it doesn't happen. Maybe some idiot teenagers think that way, but it sure as hell won't work that way if you go to court where it actually matters. I can agree with you on that, because I too believe that no matter how revealing a girl is dressed, it's no grounds to blame her for the incident. I know rape and sexual assault are awful and can be a traumatic and life-ruining experience, but I think your view of it is slightly childish.



And you end saying that if society were more accepting, you'd buy dresses for your son too, if you had one. That's the real problem though. You don't have one. I understand where you're coming from, but no parent nowadays would do that out of fear for the torture they would receive in public. I understand that that's your point, but really what son is going to enjoy wearing something that clearly no other male children are wearing. It's sad that the world works that way, but that's how it is and a statement like that won't change anything. Anyway, maybe that was just a metaphor and this paragraph is pointless but whatever moving on.



Honestly, I'm in full support of your opinion that women shouldn't feel the need to be feminine, and men shouldn't feel the need to be masculine. I hate trying to be masculine. My Dad tells me that I'm not a real man because of the things I think and say and do all the time and it just encourages me to be less of a "man" to prove my point. Believe me, I understand. And I hate that kind of social standard, but I don't think you see the whole picture.



Now on to the other topic. You're saying that you're merely "touching base" to give the impression that you hardly care anymore, which is silly but point made I guess. I'm not angry at you for not walking home with me, and I don't consider it a "symbol" of anything. I didn't say there was any deeper meaning. It was that moment that made me come to realize how near the end was. I realized that that was our last night together for a long time. I said nothing about a "Sign from the Gods". Not too sure where that came from.



So, you gave up a lot more than I did? Well. First of all I can't think of a single thing, and even so, did I ever say to you "I don't want to talk to you unless you give up , and " because I don't think so. I'll go along with your argument though. I gave up things too. When I was spending time with you, I could have been spending time with my other friends, or playing music or just doing other things, but I didn't because I wanted to spend time with you. I'm pretty sure that's how it was in your case as well. You wanted to spend time with me, so you did. Not doing what you had planned because you're spending time with me instead is not "giving it up", it's just doing what you want.



Alright, next point. I barely even talked to you except when it was convenient. Actually no, I can assure you I just felt like I would just annoy you if I were to talk to you all the time, and sometimes I felt like if I had a legitimate reason to talk to you rather than just casual conversation then it would make me seem a little less annoying. I don't know why I work that way, but I do.



"You told me you didn't want me."



No I didn't. You think I did because you work the same way I do. You constantly put yourself down just like I do, and you always jump to conclusions like I do. So when interacting with people, the general atmosphere from the perspective of people like us is that the person that we're talking to is somehow better than us. Usually that's the case anyway. When I talked to you I felt like you were a much better person than I was and that I didn't deserve your time. That's just how I think. So sometimes, people that think like I do can misinterpret things that are said and jump to conclusions. I believe that's the case here. I have never said that to you, and the fact that you would blindly assume that then use it to make me feel bad about myself is not really something I expected.



"Then when you noticed I'd cut that day on the bus, you touched me again, and that was unfair."



I'll admit that was a weird day. Believe it or not, I wasn't aiming to hold your hand, just to touch your scars to give the notion that I care. I really don't know what to say about that. Even so, it's not like there was ever a point when we sat down and agreed that it was over. We didn't see each other much and I was often too scared to for the same reason you were. I was scared you didn't want to. Does this make me a bad person? It's not like I felt bad for you so I held your hand out of sympathy.



"I knew you wouldn't like me."



I felt the exact same way you did, so you can't use that as an excuse to feel better about yourself. We both have insecurities, and we both have problems.



"My mistake is not the reason that it's over."



When did I ever say it was? It's not like I think that if you were to have walked me home that that would have somehow made you not moving to Orillia in a week. That's not how it works. Besides, I don't think of it as a mistake. I just took it as your evaluation of the situation, and it was a good one. I was being an idiot so you not wanting to spend time with me was understandable, even at the time for me I understood it. But that doesn't mean that I think that moment was the moment it all fell apart, because it was going to soon anyway.



"I've tried to talk to you, for fucks sake, your tumblr is in my top sites"



You sent me that text message that I didn't reply to because I felt you would be better off if I didn't. Other than that I don't see how you've tried to establish a connection. Lurking around my tumblr doesn't mean trying to talk. Regardless, I read that message many times and thought about responding but I just didn't know how. I figured you were living a happy life out there in Orillia with Connor having adventures and whatnot. I didn't want to be the one to drag you out of that. That's all.



"You're the one who let our friendship plan fall apart. Not me."



Don't glorify the fact that I didn't respond to make me look like a terrible person.



"I just wish you said something back to make me feel a little more like I mattered, or I made some sort of a difference in your life."



Umm, hello? You were the one that said you had practically been in a relationship for two years, and now you want me to make you feel like you mattered in my life? I'm sorry, but the hypocrisy and double standard there should be apparent to even you. You know that you were important to me anyway. That's all I'm going to say.



"I'm not being thrown around by this anymore, so I wish you luck in life, and I'm glad you're still paying attention to my life."



Good, then don't be. We'll go our separate ways, and it'll be good for us both. I wish you luck as well. You sure seem like you're having a radical time in Orillia.



I don't know. I'm sorry if I seem cold and immature. It's just that there are just too many things you don't understand about me, the world and just people in general, and it's bothering me. We're both still stuck in the past, and it's time for us to just forget about all this, but I'm sure you already knew that. I'm not trying to be rude and have the last word, if there is anything you want to say to me then feel free, I'll respond if you really want me to, but I've had my two cents and shall never speak of this again.I've been reading this over for the past couple hours wondering whether or not I should actually post it, but I figured I would because it's the instinctive thoughts that are the most reflective of our natural senses and feelings, I find. In other words, your at-first-glance initial reaction to something is usually one that is the most accurate.
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